I had a rough time psychically this weekend.   The exposure to Amvona, and the interview, sent my head reeling and I did not sleep much Friday night.

I am battling swings between grandiose (I should ask for more money, I can do anything) to self-loathing (my life is ruined, and I should be a totally different person, and I don't know anything about anything).

My financial situation is very bad.   Without my PayPal card, I have not had much money, and even if it had come, I would not have had enough for rent.   I have $10 cash, a negative $235 balance in the bank, and $280 in the PayPal account.   I owe $585 for rent, $75 for utilities, smoke a pack a day (arg) and am surviving on dollar store cans, peanuts and pasta.   

The upshot comes when I look out into the future--with the job offer from Amvona, and continuing to live at a bare level, by the time I am thirty I could have 30Gs in the bank.   Add a $5000 bonus, and my goal of sailing into the sunset at age 30 is a possibility.

I should be receiving about $200 from NanoWorld, and have another $250 coming to me over the next couple of weeks from Hess.   This will keep me fed.   It is also my responsibility to try to get assistance with rent from the local organizations.   I am hesitant to do this, but only because I never have before.   I have found information on Allston.

This is a priority this week.